How to Break Up With Your Therapist
Here’s How To Break Up With Your Therapist
This is a follow-up to my previous post: How To Find the Right Therapist for You.
I Need Space.
Therapy can be a great part of your self-discovery journey, but there may come a time to say goodbye. Friends often ask, “How do I break up with my therapist?” Whether you've been in therapy for a single session or several years, parting ways with your therapist is never easy. After all, many of us seek therapy to learn how to navigate difficult conversations, much like this one.
Here’s a guide on how to break up with your therapist.
It’s Not You, It’s Me.
Signs it’s time to end with with your therapist:
If you dread therapy, it might be time to reevaluate. Therapy can be difficult, so it's essential to differentiate between normal anxiety and persistent dread.
While a bit of small talk is normal, if the entire session revolves around “The Bachelor,” it could be a sign that you’ve outgrown your therapist.
You may have outgrown your therapist if you've reached a plateau and you’re looking for new challenges and growth. As we get older, our problems change, so it might be beneficial to find a therapist specializing in your current needs.
Feeling consistently unheard or undervalued can create discomfort during sessions, indicating a need for a change. If your therapist isn't affirming your beliefs or consistently shows up late without communication, it’s time to break up.
Before Breaking Up With Your Therapist
Before deciding to terminate with your therapist, consider discussing your concerns with your them. Ask them to focus on specific areas or skills and hold you more accountable. This presents an opportunity to practice self-advocacy and communication skills.
It’s Really Over.
When you're certain it's time to move on, confronting the conversation head-on is empowering. While you could choose to ghost your therapist, it's recommended to communicate openly. Here are a few suggestions for what to say, whether breaking up via email or in-person:
I appreciate your time and help, but I am looking for something different now.
I have made a lot of progress in our time together, but I think it’s time to work with someone new.
I would like to stop therapy at this time.
For longer-term relationships, your therapist may suggest a final session to reflect on your journey together. You decide whether or not you want to attend this session. Embrace the idea that finding the right therapist is a process, and the end of your relationship with your current therapist opens the door to new possibilities.
Remember, just because this therapist wasn’t “the one” doesn't mean there aren't other options. It's a first step towards finding a therapist who better fits your changing needs.
Online Therapy Services Offered at Empathic Counseling Services in Evanston, Chicago, and Beyond
Ivy Ellis, LCSW PMH-C is a licensed mental health therapist dedicated to helping overwhelmed adults feel better about themselves and their lives in Evanston, Chicago, and beyond. Ivy’s niche specialties include supporting Autistic/ND adults, anxious adults, and pregnant and postpartum women. Ivy, at Empathic Counseling Center, offers online therapy for adults in Illinois, Minnesota, Washington, Indiana, and Michigan.