Why Do I Overthink: 4 Ways to To Stop Overthinking
Why Do I Overthink?
I wish I hadn’t said that. I looked like such an idiot.
What if I mess up?
I can’t stop thinking about this upcoming project/interview/event.
My brain won’t shut off!
Did I make the right decision?
I Think, Therefore I am.- Descartes
We all have thoughts. After all, it’s our consciousness that makes us human. It’s only natural that you have negative thoughts every now and then. But when you’re caught in a vicious thought spiral, you have crossed the line from thinking to overthinking.
What is Overthinking?
Overthinking is when you spend an excessive amount of time thinking about or rehashing past mistakes, or worrying about things that might happen to you in the future. You may notice that this practice ruins your ability to stay in the present moment. It affects your sleep, your relationships, your work, and your school.
Why Do I Overthink?
When we are faced with a problem or an unfamiliar situation, your mind goes into overdrive. You have a difficult time tolerating the pain that comes with knowing you have no control. Overthinking is your attempt to regain control. You think that if you run through the details one more time, you will eventually fix the issue, change the outcome or better prepare yourself for the future.
Sometimes thinking about one area of your life helps you avoid another area that makes you even more uncomfortable. For instance, it is easier to obsess about packing for your next vacation than to worry about asking your boss for time off from work.
As a Chicago therapist and also a human being, I have lots of personal experience with overthinking. Overthinking is similar to treading water; it takes up lot of energy and we never get anywhere. So how can you stop overthinking and get back to living?
How to Stop Overthinking and Get Back to Living
We often try to manage overthinking by pushing away our thoughts. Unfortunately, that only makes the problem worse, and we get stuck in thought spirals. So, while you can't turn off your brain, here are a few things you can do to reduce the amount of time and energy you spend overthinking:
Set a “worry time.” Set aside 30 minutes each day to worry. Schedule it on your calendar, i.e. 7:00-7:30. Then, whenever you catch yourself worrying outside of this time frame, remind your brain that you can think about it during “worry time.” Set a timer when "worry time" arrives. Focus on worrying during this time, and when the timer ends, it's time to move on with your day.
Just because you think something doesn’t mean it’s true. Thoughts are judgements and opinions, not facts. Thoughts do not need to control your actions.
For example, you look in the mirror and think, “I look fat after eating the bag of cookies. Everyone will laugh at me in my bathing suit. I shouldn’t go swimming.” Did you eat that bag of cookies? Yes, that’s a fact. However, the rest of your thoughts are judgements. You can have those thoughts, and still choose to put on your swimsuit and enjoy swimming.
Unhook from your thoughts. When you argue with your thoughts, your brain often fights back with an even stronger argument. You get caught in the struggle. Instead of engaging in “tug of war” with your thoughts, try “dropping the rope.” You can’t get rid of your thoughts, but you can let go of the struggle. Let them be there and concentrate on what's important. This is an exercise in thought defusion, an important part of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.
Engage in a mindful activity. One of the biggest misconceptions is that mindfulness exercises require you to stay still and focus on your breathing. Mindfulness is about being aware of your feelings in the present moment without judgment. You can do this by knitting, running, or gardening.
Online Therapy Services Offered at Empathic Counseling Services in Evanston, Chicago, and Beyond
Ivy Ellis, LCSW PMH-C is a licensed mental health therapist dedicated to helping overwhelmed adults feel better about themselves and their lives in Evanston, Chicago, and beyond. Ivy’s niche specialties include supporting Autistic/ND adults, anxious adults, and pregnant and postpartum women. Ivy, at Empathic Counseling Center, offers online therapy for adults in Illinois, Minnesota, Washington, Indiana, and Michigan. She help overthinkers just like you.